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Down
at the Cockroach Factory
I
had just moved into my new place, one of those old style Japanese
houses where the rooms had tatami mats and sliding wooden doors
just like in the movies. All my boxes and furniture were sitting
in a pile in the middle of the floor and I was starting to unpack.
All was well with the world, I had that feeling of excitement that
those who've just moved into a new place will understand.
While busy moving things about in the room, humming to myself, a
bird flew in my open door. That was my immediate thought, except
in my state of wonder I neglected to remember that birds don't buzz
like bees. The bird landed on my wall and turned into a large cockroach
the size of my fist. I was horrified! Now I don't really have anything
against bugs, in fact I happen to like some insects, especially
useful ones like dragonflies and spiders. But this glistening, evil,
black thing sat on my wall looking at me malevolently. All the optimistic
feelings I had a minute before shattered around my feet and then
blew away like dust in the wind. I pondered what to do while my
stomach twisted into a hard gray knot. Now I'd studied kendo a bit
and my shinai (bamboo sword) was sitting with the rest of my unpacked
things. I reached for it while the cockroach climbed higher up my
wall, and then went inside my air-conditioner. Cursing, I wondered
how the hell I was supposed to get at it now, but luckily it crawled
out the other side. I had to have a strategy. I knew that one blow
wouldn't kill it large as it was, but would only serve to madden
it, and perhaps let it escape. Keeping my shinai in my right hand,
I picked up the garbage can with my left. I quick blow knocked it
into the container where as I had predicted, it proceeded to thrash
around madly. It was a truly sickening sight but I raised my sword
and proceeded to smash it into pieces. It was several smashes and
several pieces later when it finally stopped moving but its foul
miasma still permeated the air and my stomach refused to unclench
at the thought of it. I turned depressed thoughts back to my mound
of boxes and luggage. I was wondering mostly if I could cancel the
contract I had made without too much hassle, but knowing that I
couldn't, and also that I wouldn't be sleeping much tonight. As
I stood contemplating, some higher sense of awareness distracted
me. I can't remember if I actually heard something or if it was
truly precognition, but I went over to my closet where I had already
hung some of my clothes. I raised my arm and swung a hard backhand
to the clothes hanging there and out fell another cockroach, out
of my clothes dammit!! This one wasn't as big as the other one,
but if I hadn't just met his brother, this one would have been the
biggest one I'd ever seen. I was too stunned to react and the cockroach
managed to scuttle under the door that I had closed to try preventing
the first one from escaping. I opened the door thinking that I'd
never find it among all the cracks and crannies of the old kitchen.
However I glimpsed him just before he hid himself in my one of my
shoes. I didn't have time then to reflect on what kind of horror
I would have experienced if I'd put my foot into that shoe the next
day. Knowing where it was, I dumped out my shoe and proceeded to
smash the cockroach flat. This time, perhaps due to my state of
panic and adrenaline, one blow was all I needed. Needless to say,
I slept very badly that night, and it took much longer for my sense
of unease about my new room to diminish.
The next day the first thing I did was go to the store and buy a
bunch of cockroach traps, poison and bug spray and proceeded to
set them up around my room. However, even though I stayed there
for 8 months, I never saw another cockroach in my room after that.
Perhaps they took a hint?
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