Mike's Blender - Do As Tokyo Does - Summer Chills


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Do As Tokyo Does

Summer Chills

(Entered Aug. 24, 2009)

Recent Do As Tokyo Does:

Looking for an ecological way to cool down in the sickening Tokyo heat? Turn off any air conditioners and electric fans, close all the windows, forget about rubbing any chemical laden, hypothermic inducing skin creams on your body and get ready for the next big discovery straight from the deepest and most secret research laboratories in Japan. I give you: scary music.
Brought to you by Tokyu Hands, and based on the revolutionary scientific breakthrough that listening to frightening noises makes you shiver, which in turn cools you down; now all you need to do to stay cool this summer is turn on your CD player. Looks like yet another Nobel prize is in store for those shrewd Japanese scientists.

scary music cd

And who am I to argue with science, or saving the environment? One CD costs 1350 yen, which is a steal when you consider that it costs about the same to power my air conditioner for like, a day.
So did my body temperature drop? I've heard from many people that Japanese horror films are some of the scariest movies around, so I figured a) that a Japanese horror music CD would actually be kind of scary, and b) that having such scary movies, the Japanese themselves must have a high tolerance for horror, and would need a truly scary bunch of noises in order to stay cool. I thought my logic was impeccable, but unfortunately what we've got here is a CD that wouldn't scare a three year old from any country.
The CD comes with a total of 51 tracks, and consists mainly of random 'scary' noises, with a few themes from random horror movies thrown in like 'The Exorcist' and 'Omen'. And out of all 51, only one track of a massive earthquake made me feel a bit nervous, perhaps because in Tokyo, it's so close to being a reality. Click here to listen.
Some tracks aren't scary, they're sickening, like a zombie supposedly eating raw meat, which sounds more like someone chewing, spitting and puking at the same time. Others are unlistenable, like someone running their nails down a blackboard, and still others don't make much sense, like Buddhist chants, or someone lighting a candle. Then there's a whole slew of cornball garbage like a witch laughing, girls and cats screaming, wolves howling, owls hooting, wind blowing, and on and on.
A scary CD that cools you down eh? Well I am sweating from the embarrassment of having bought it...